Something smells rotten in dreamland....

Last night, I had one of those great nights of sleep (which for me is definitely worth writing about since I experience insomnia at times), only to find myself wide awake after a weird dream. To set the scene a bit, I was surrounded by people from college (some of whom I haven't thought about since college), current friends, and acquaintances. We resided in a strange multistory tree house and on this particular evening, everyone was in high spirits after a great night out. As we filed into the house, I ran ahead of the group only to find myself face to face with a large black and white animal which I quickly realized was a skunk!

The Skunk (photo from justskunks.com)

This was no ordinary skunk.  Firstly, it was much larger than your ordinary skunk and secondly, it didn't run away when it saw me. I proceeded to yell out to everyone that there was a skunk in the house and we needed to get tomato juice but no one seemed to care. I started getting hysterical as I ran around the house yelling out my warnings like I was Paul Revere warning everyone that "The British were coming," But once again no one cared and the skunk remained content. Finally, I got fed up and started yelling at everyone to get the skunk out of the house when suddenly, it started to spray. I ran up the stairs and the skunk followed, marking itself all over the stairs. I ran into a room and shut the door and that is when I woke up. 

I stayed in bed motionless, as my mind raced back to the dream, especially the skunk, and I decided to research what this dream meant. I quickly did a google search on my cellphone of several dream interpretation websites and I was not pleased with what my research yielded. Apparently, dreaming of a skunk means unresolved anger issues as well as, dealing with something that "stinks" in one's life. I started reflecting on my life and what anger issues I could be experiencing and I came up empty handed. As far as I was concerned, I had zero unresolved anger issues, or anything to be angry about for that matter.  I had some things that under the surface,  had upset me in the past, but nothing large enough to cause a dream of such magnitude. I also thought about anything "stinking" in my life and the only thing that I could think of was the large list of things I had to do before leaving for China and how over the past few days those things, were beginning to cause me some stress and even a headache.

I can only hope that this is not some foreshadowing on what may await me in China (even though I'm quite certain there will be a literal stench).  I'm going to do what I've always done before my long term stays abroad: to keep positive and have great thoughts about all the great things I will experience and all the amazing people I will meet. I just hope that one of them isn't a skunk ;)

From the Mind of an Insomniac...

Oh insomnia...I have never been officially diagnosed (In the sense of seeing a doctor or a sleep specialist for their expert opinion) with having this sleep disorder, but I am pretty sure my sleepless nights, coupled with racing thoughts, and finally, my difficulties to fall back asleep after being awakened would make any medical expert cringe from behind his clipboard.

The past few weeks have been no exception as I sometimes lie awake at night thinking and reflecting upon my past; as well as, hoping and "dreaming" about my future. A few nights ago, I had every intention to get to bed early that night since my slacker days of sometimes working will soon be over due to the fact that I start my new job this week which requires me to join the 9-5 masses. After getting comfortable under my covers with trusty eye mask in place, I quickly fall asleep around midnight (yes, this is considered early for me these days) only to be disturbed around 1:30 a.m. by of all things text messages (which I will write about in greater detail in the upcoming weeks)!! Since the beeping of my phone only scared/awakened/annoyed me, I ended up staying up, unable to fall back asleep and once again...I reflected upon my past.

Instead of reflecting upon the positive, or even a mix of both the positive and the negative, my mind wandered toward all the negative things that occurred in my life over the past year and a half. I thought about my struggles in France from arriving with my horrible host family (which I quickly changed after a month of being there), to the issues and problems I had with my second host family (which I was able to resolve upon getting over the language barrier and improving my self confidence). I thought about random things in between from: life in France, to friends and people, to my current "job" and even what's going on in the world. After that time of reflection, I then thought about my future and all the uncertainties it holds. I understand that the future is unknown; hell, it's not even guaranteed. I also understand that sometimes planning for it yields unexpected results, sometimes good and sometimes...unfortunate. I guess I write this because I have arrived at a very difficult crossroads in life which has lead me to weigh out the good; and also the bad. Do I follow my heart and my dreams and go back to Europe: where work, life, and "the future" remain unknown and quite frankly...downright scary?? Or, do I remain here stateside...working in this new job, saving money, paying my debts, and hoping once again to return to Europe within the next few years?? This feeling of uncertainty and the unknown is what kept me up that night and for many nights now I may add. However, I turn my thoughts to the positive, and the thought of a new day full of hope, energy, and a clearer answer just as the sun comes up around 6a.m.

Yeah...I really need to get some Ambien...

Song of the Moment:
"Trouble Sleeping": Corinne Bailey Rae
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wQaE7gEwyw

***One of my fave songs and c.d.s!!!***