Saturday, June 11, 2011

Options...

Last night, I spoke with a friend who had received some dreadful news. She had not been accepted into her top choice grad program and was utterly devastated. I tried my best in consoling her by trying to cheer her up and offered her some positive talk which mostly consisted of "to look on the bright side." During our exchanges, I felt terrible since I knew that this particular grad school and program was her dream, and now her dream would have to be deferred or even changed. Admittedly, I also felt a bit awkward since I really didn't know what I could have said or done to make the situation a bit better on her end. We ended our convo on a light note and I prayed for her that night that something would work out for her ...

Despite the events of the previous night, I woke up this morning feeling great and spent all morning and a good chunk of the afternoon working my butt off to finish a work project in time for the company sponsored happy hour (a nice perk of my job). After all the madness had died down and I was working on some mind numbing task, my mind drifted back to last night's conversation and how I still felt terrible for my friend. But after a few moments, I started thinking about the rejections or no's I had encountered in my own life. I will briefly share with you my top three:

A. In the Name of Sisterhood...
After my Freshman year of college, I decided that I wanted to be in a sorority my sophomore year. I spent the summer devouring tons of fiction and non-fiction books that pertained to sorority and even fraternity life to get a good idea of what I was getting myself into. I spoke with several sorority girls in order to hear their personal testimony and lastly, I had selected and even purchased several outfits for rush week. I started off the rush week with high hopes and fell head over heels for a sorority my first day of the week long event. After being invited back for several other events I was convinced I was a shoe-in for one of the few, coveted pledge spots. However, on the preference night (the last step and most important part of the rush process), the feelings were not mutual and I did not receive a pref night invitation to that sorority. I had decided earlier that week that it was that sorority or nothing; thus I walked away without a house or "sisters" to call my own.

B. Teaching in France
Back in 2009, I had applied to the teaching assistant program in France. I worked hard on my application and once it was finished, I sat back already planning my "long sejour" in southern France. By the time April rolled around, I was constantly checking my email in sweet anticipation of being accepted. But the sweet turned sour and on a rainy day in April, I learned that I was flat out rejected from the program. I sat staring for ages at the computer monitor in utter disbelief and as the tears started to roll down my face, I ran out the public library in shock, disbelief, and embarrassment. I kept telling myself that something just had to have went wrong and maybe, just maybe, my application had been mixed up with someone else's. But deep down, I knew that there was no mix-up and I had been rejected. I managed to pull myself out of my own self pity and searched for another way to get to France. I eventually found out I could au pair for a year and even though it was difficult and even frustrating at times; I had a great experience and one far more different, and in my honest opinion a bit better than my original plan.

C. Working in London
During my senior year of college, I learned about a program that would allow me to live and work in London for a year. Since I had fell in love with London during my semester abroad, this program sounded perfect and I knew that I would be accepted due to my grades, living abroad experience, and outstanding resume. After spending a good amount of time perfecting my application ( I had 5 people look over my essay alone), I just knew that I would be reunited again with my "City Love" that upcoming August. While I worked on my application, I also applied to several jobs and I had even completed a great phone interview with a recruiter for an English teaching position in South Korea. Despite all of my other possibilities, I still held on to being accepted into the London program. Unfortunately, I learned just before graduation that I was not accepted into the London program. At first I was upset, but I had an ace up my sleeve and knew about another working aboard program in London. The duration was a bit shorter; however, I was free to choose whatever job I wanted and could even chose where I wanted to live (with the other year long program, I would have lived 3 to a room in program assigned housing and would have worked in a job selected at random with no possibility to extend my stay). Overall, my London experience was fab and even though the Home Office (UK Immigration) denied my visa extension, I still had an enriching experience that I love to think about to this day...

I write these cringe worthy stories (they were secrets to many of my closest friends until now) for two reasons. Firstly, I learned that nothing in life is guaranteed and just because someone is qualified and/ or deserving of a job or position does not mean that they will get what they want/apply for (I'm sure we all have a tale or two about someone not getting into a great school or landing a great job despite a near perfect g.p.a or outstanding resume). I guess that would be the case in a fair and just world, but alas, the world really isn't fair ladies and gents.

The other point of my tales was to show the evolution of my actions once my dreams/ plans didn't happen, and how I learned that even though my original plans didn't work out, I was able to find another way to get to where I wanted.Thus, I learned to always, always, ALWAYS have a Plan B (or better yet a Plan C, D, and even X, Y, and Z).

So remember readers, continue to dream big; but make sure to have many dreams in case the original never appears in real life...